Special Days

For a long as I can remember, my grandparents have done this really cool thing where they take each of their grandchildren out one at a time and let us pick everything we do that day. We got to pick where or what we ate, a big activity (like bowling or visiting the Yellow River Game Ranch), go shopping, and spend the night if we wanted. They called them Special Days because it was on those days we were special and we knew it. Cousins and siblings could choose to combine days and enjoy the day together, but often the one on one time was something we didn't want to pass up. They would come up around birthdays, the start of school, Christmas, or sometimes just because we could. As we grew up, Special Days followed us to college with care packages, a trip to the grocery store, and dinner on them. All of us love and look forward to these special times with Grandma and Grandpa because we love spending time with them and who doesn't want to feel special?

Special Days Athens Edition

Her first Pumpkin carving experience.
Oh what an experience it was!

When I got to college, I volunteered for a mentoring program called CrossTrainers. I was paired with a sassy, beautiful, hysterical 3rd grader that I spent my four years in Athens getting to know and love. Once a week, or sometimes less often, we had our own kind of Special Days together. She had my undivided attention as we played Connect 4 at Menchies (she always beat me!), made cookies and cupcakes, took countless trips to Zaxby's, and the many other adventures we went on. She taught me so much about how important intentional one-on-one time can be for a person. It was good for me and it was good for her. Our last year together was a busy one and we didn't see each other as much a we had in the past, but the times we spent together were more precious because we knew it wouldn't last forever. For whatever reason, in our last few hangout times, she let me know that everything I had been trying so desperately to tell her for the past 4 years about family and friends and her bright future she understood and was putting to practice. Watching her grow in maturity, patience, and self-control was more than I could have ever hoped for. It took everything in me not to cry tears of joy in the middle of our favorite Zaxby's as she said, "You know, you're right. I don't want to try to be popular this year. I just want to be around a few people who actually care about me instead of a lot of people who get me into trouble." There were so many times that I wasn't sure my presence in her life was making any difference. I was alright with that though. I'm not her Savior. I very selfishly prayed that God would let me see the fruit of seeds that had been planted in her life someday. I never imagined that He would be so good as to let me spend our last year together seeing the fruit of the previous three years and that she and her family would give me any sort of credit for the positive changes in her life. Special Days are so important.

Special Days Clarkston Edition 

Love catching up with this girl over dinner.

These days in Clarkston, I can't spend one-on-one time with each youth every week. There's so many of them. Every now and then, though, I get the chance to take one out for a Special Day. Most recently, was a trip to the China Buffet with a camper I've known for a very long time. Her family in particular is where I pull from when there's opportunity for a Special Day. There are five children in the home and really only one parent. The children do everything around the house as far as day to day making sure everyone is up, fed, and bathed. They are a resilient, loving, compassionate group of siblings. They don't often get one-on-one time with anyone because there are so many. In large groups the younger ones in particular are quiet and shy. As they hop in my car though they start talking and just don't stop. They'll update me on the family, school, sports, crushes, and neighbors. We'll reminisce on camp in years past and talk about the upcoming summer. Sometimes we just sit in silence. Always, we spend hours in the China Buffet (their top choice for a dinner out) after we are finished eating because they just don't want to go home yet and I don't have the heart to make them. Spending time with the oldest sister recently we were trying to remember as many summer interns as we could. She didn't remember several of them which prompted her to ask, "Why don't people who work at camp every come back for more than one summer?" I did my best to explain that interns have school and other jobs and some live really far away. Then she said, "You moved away for like 5 years and I didn't forget you because you always came to visit." I was reminded again of how important intentional investment is.

The Essence of Special Days
Considering that it's impossible to give hours of uninterrupted, intentional time to each youth in Clarkston, it seems as though we have found a way to capture the essence of that special time in our programs. Whether it be a short, yet intentional conversation in the car on the way home or making sure we celebrate birthdays, we strive to run programs that promote dignity and every youth involved feeling loved as an individual. Having amazing staff and volunteers makes this possible. But one of the youth recently gave us the highest praise I think we've ever gotten. Understand this, this particular youth used to be a apart of Summer Camp and the Friends of Refugees family, but in moves and changes in structure and leadership, this particular youth slipped between the cracks and we have only recently re-established a relationship with their family. This youth has every reason to hold bitterness towards us. What they said though was along the lines of, "A lot of times in Clarkston people only go half way. Because it's Clarkston they think things don't have to be nice. Friends of Refugees always goes all out, though. They always do things high quality which I appreciate." To receive this high praise from a youth means we must be doing something right. We do care to operate the highest program possible for the community. Knowing that our heart is recognized in that is an awesome feeling.

So thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for teaching me about the importance of Special Days. Know that even though your youngest grandchild is a junior in high school and that we are more spread out than ever, Special Days still happen and have grown to include more people than ever. I love you!

MASH 30021

Fun fact: some of my hobbies include knitting, baking cookies, and watching M*A*S*H. I'm aware that based on this fact alone you probably wouldn't guess that I'm 22.

For those of you who don't watch M*A*S*H, you should, it's on Netflix until April. It's a show that ran for 11 seasons about a mobile army surgical hospital during the Korean War. You get to know what life at the fictional MASH 4077 was like. You get to know the doctors, the nurses, the enlisted men, the patients, the locals, and the sometimes ridiculous circumstances that surround these people who are really just trying to survive. Doctors performing meatball surgery in sub-standard conditions so the soldiers can be patched up and sent back out to fight. Everyone has to come to grips with the realities of the war they are living in and try to find a way to stay sane. They straddle the love they have for the people they are working with and the hatred they have for the situation they are in. Besides the actual war that is taking place, they are fighting to overcome the injustices around them like the locals who aren't soldiers but need medical help and the Army officials who are making decisions that are good for their career but bad for those serving on the front lines. What are the doctor's, who are stuck in the middle, supposed to do and what can they do to bring justice and peace to such a complex, foreign, serious situation of war. 

Recently I've found myself able to connect with those characters on some level. 

Here, we are fighting our own war. We are fighting for youth to get to stay youth. We're fighting for our refugee neighbors to have their own voice. We are fighting against stereotypes and societal misunderstandings. We fight for our community to be seen as a community and not a project. In my time in and around Clarkston, I have learned so many things. There might not be bombs going off left and right ...but there is a battle going on. 

Clarkston International Bible Church recently faced damages due to a fire. No one was hurt, but that part of the building cannot be used for some time yet. We relocated tutoring to a house owned by the church down the street. It was cramped, there were no computers or wifi, not enough tables, and we didn't have many of the supplies the girls count on to help get homework done. Homework was done, though. Vocab words were studies. Multiplication tables were practiced. A satire was written. Dinner was served. The girls know they are loved.

As I was taking a van load of them home, the girls were talking about their schedules for the coming week. One said she wouldn't be at school on Friday and not to come get her when she wasn't at the bus stop. She had to go with her mom to work out an issue with Medicaid (this particular girl comes from a family whose native language is so rare she is the only one in the area who can translate for her family). As I listened to these 4 middle school girls talk like adults about how frustrating the system was and how difficult it was to get everything worked out I felt a heaviness in my heart. These kids shouldn't have to worry about such big things. They shouldn't have to miss school to go and make sure that their family is getting all the services they should be getting. The should be allowed to be kids. They should have the chance to focus on learning and growing and making friends and figuring out who they are before they tackle red tape surrounding medical insurance or any other type of service. Please understand, these girls were not complaining about helping their families. They were not putting their parents down for needing them to help with translation or child care or paperwork. They are spectacular sisters, daughters, neighbors, and friends who are generally happy to do what they can to help out. 

My realization in that moment for me was a confirmation that what I am trying to do in Clarkston, along with so many others, is to give these kids a piece of their childhood back. On Thursdays, the girls know they don't have to make dinner. They don't have to babysit. They don't have to help fill out paperwork. They don't have to clean. All they have to do is work on homework and spend time with friends and people who care about them. We provide dinner. We provide and maintain the space. We let them goofy and silly and have fun because it's important to get that opportunity somewhere. 

So no, we aren't Army doctors stitching together wounded soldiers, but we are people banded together fighting for the people we work with to overcome some pretty hard situations. It's not easy. Sometimes we feel like we are crazy for trying to do the things we do. In the end, it's not our sanity or glory or reputation that we are working for, though, it's that the youth in Clarkston would have every opportunity possible to reach the potential that each one of them has. We want to see the youth be all God created them to be.

This week tutoring went much better. There was plenty of room for everyone!

Leap Day

I'm ready for a new month. This February has been longer than most because of the leap year, and though it is the shortest month of the year it has been filled with more than it's share of rough patches. There were redeeming moments. The highs were high and the lows were low. Join with me a quick round of "sunnies and rainies," as we used to do in one of my small groups, and catch you up on my month.

Rainies
(I like to get the less fun parts over with first)

February started out like any other month except the team I'm ever so grateful for was stretched thin from day 1. Spending much needed time with family, away for personal heath reasons, and recruiting for interns around the southeast left at least one person missing each week.

Let me take a break here to brag on the team. They're top notch. Not only are they a personal encouragement to me on a daily basis that I am proud to work alongside, but they are honest, loyal, loving people who put their faith into action sacrificing themselves in so many ways to glorify the Lord in this place. We pray together. We love the community together. We struggle together. We win together. I couldn't do a fraction of what I do without them. 

When even one of the people on this dynamic team of staff, volunteers, leaders, and friends is missing, we can all feel their absence and the extra weight that they usually carry. We were all pulled in so many different directions this month (for extremely valid reasons) that I think it's possible we were pushed to limits we didn't know we had. As I look back on the month, I'm proud of each of us individually and the extra hours of work and brain power and emotional support that each one of us put in to make sure that the youth of Clarkston were loved and cared for and had a place to go and be invested in every single weeknight.

On top of that, life outside of ministry didn't let up. There was the loss of loved ones, surgeries, bronchitis, sinus infections, lice, and so many other stressors weighing us down. A few of us faced loneliness, questions of faith, and wounds we thought were healed that seemed to come open again. 

In ministry, we were missing members of leadership and gaining youth participants, which is a challenging blessing. At times, we were way outnumbered and it showed. There were issues with vans, paperwork, technology, and attitudes. There was a fire at the church facility we use daily, no one was harmed but the building is facing damages that we must work around. 

Maybe you can understand why I'm so ready for a new month. A fresh start. 

Sunnies

Playing Bananagrams at the couples shower

February wasn't a complete loss. There were some pretty redeeming moments. For example, my baby sister turned 18. My brother and sister-in-law got a new precious puppy. Garrett and I had our first wedding showers and signed a lease for our first apartment together. I got to connect with some of the coolest Covenant College students on a recruiting trip and catch up with sweet Ruth, good friend and previous intern. 

After returning from the recruiting trip to Tennessee, I got to see some youth at Friday night youth group after being away for almost two weeks for various reasons. Hearing that they missed me and wanted to know where I was made me feel missed and loved. It was a sweet encouragement for me after feeling pretty low about being away from them for so long. I love them so much and care for them so much it hurts sometimes...to know they care for me too is something pretty special and makes the time away seem more worthwhile. 

I've saved a special update for last. You'll really like this story. :) 

The sweet family I've had the honor and pleasure of transporting to school and English classes is doing great. In the past several months they have come from staying in a homeless shelter, to moving in with a friend, and now the mom has found a job and they are living in their own apartment near some family friends. I've loved being a part of their story and getting to know them better. I love the extra mom advice I would get on the way to English class about how rest and lemon tea would do me a world of good when I wasn't feeling well. I loved celebrating the highs and commiserating over the lows with the family. But now, though I miss seeing them twice a week, I'm so excited for their new chapter. I'm looking forward to visiting them in their new home soon. I hope that you will join me in praying for their hopeful, fruitful, abundant future in their new home.

Final Thoughts...
"You do not know now what I am doing, but someday you will" John 13:7

While the month was a rough one, I know the Lord is using those challenges to grow us and strengthen us. Someday we may look back and be thankful for the chance to persevere and persist. Right now, I know I'm ready to get my head above water again. Keep praying for us. Keep encouraging us. Keep being there for us when we are low. Keep celebrating the wins with us when we win. I'm so thankful for all of you.

Good bye, February. 

Bring it on, March.